Fear

fear is my almost constant companion unfortunately. it’s almost always there in some degree.  I am afraid a lot because my fears are for things that can not be avoided if I want to live some sort of “normal” life.  I am afraid of new people, new situations, social events, to go to public places alone, to be alone, to be in crowded places, public speaking, failing,  intimacy, hard sounds, open spaces. I am more afraid of one then the other and how anxious I am depends on the situation and how the rest of my life is. (I can take more if I’m feeling otherwise good).

now for no reason (as far as I can see) am I lately more anxious then I was before. I am puzzled by this and also worried because I have no idea how bad it’s going to get.  it’s already affecting my life more then I want it to. can’t go into town on my own and even with someone (so I discovered today) it’s getting more difficult. I get quite stressed on work and I can’t always sleep well because I am stressed.

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