out in the open

I live now a more public live then I ever did. I mean, I share more of my own live, what was just a couple of years back unthinkable.

I share my thoughts and feelings here, on twitter and on forum. on twitter and forum it could be seen as a conversation between people but here is isn’t. it is in fact quite arrogant of my to assume that what I have to say is interesting or meaningful enough to be shared like this.

so why do I share my thoughts with the world ?

well, I want to be known. if I lay on my deathbed I don’t want to think that no one really knew me. I trying to give you all the full picture of me. I don’t ask for understanding because I know that is hard,I don’t even understand me at times. It is very hard for me to let people know me in real life, it always has been. I may have given the impression that I am a open person but I’m not, not in real life anyway. I have here openly shared the fact that I have autism but at work nobody knows a thing and I am still scared to be found out. as much as I wish to be known it also scares me so much, because if someone really knows me, they can really hurt me.

speaking of being out, you minght have noticed that my other Blog has dissapairt. that’s because I deleded it, it clearly didn’t work like I wanted to. this doesn’t mean that I give up on my dream, not at all I will be looking for a better format to give my writings some atention.


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