oh it had to come to this one day I suppose. the thing is I HATE SPORTS! to DO that is, if others want to do it I can watch but I will never like it.
for the cause of this we have to go back a couple of years, when I was still a little scared/shy girl. there was a class called Gymnastics, well it could as well have called a nightmare-hour because that is what it was for me. I am not what you call athletic, never been, never will be. my body just isn’t built for that kind of thing. but it’s more then being permanently out of shape.
it is the joining in thing that comes with it, it’s the shouting from every corner of the room, it’s the utter chaos that I just couldn’t and still can’t bare. with that came that I am/was afraid of pretty much everything . from a ball coming at me to climbing on anything, it filled me with a completely irrational terror. and then there where the other kids that had no problem pointing out once mistakes and flaws. I also had the idea that others where always looking at me and how bad I did this or that sporty thing.then we have the team picking where I was always chosen last, even after the class bully because they all knew that I wouldn’t really move. I didn’t move because I had no idea where to move, it was all so confusing and I was also afraid of doing wrong of course because they would have let me know and how! team sports are the worse kind in my opinion.
that class was something that had to be survived, it was a living hell.
I still hate doing sports and don’t really like looking at it either or better said I don’t want to like it because in a way I might betray that little kid that was always terrified by even the word gym or sports. don’t get me wrong, I think sport can be a accomplishment and I will never think less of someone for doing it or liking to watch it. just never ask me to join you…