I never thought of myself as someone that is suffering with autism but lately life is getting a lot harder and I am not sure that I am up for it. I feel like I am in over my head a lot, specially at work. it’s just growing up I suppose, people expect more from me now and that is quite normal but I don’t think I can meet there expectations. I have now a boss that finds good communication VERY important and that brings certain difficulty’s for me. it is also not always clear for me what they expect from me, there are sometimes misunderstandings because there are things that they are not really saying but expecting that they are understood and thought of (for example when you are showing someone else how to do a job that you also check the work after for a wile, I just didn’t thought of it). I am not putting the blame with others because I know that they can’t possibly understand, I haven’t told them anything and not going to either.
I really hope that I can keep my job, I want to keep working. one of the big reasons for that is that I am afraid that I will because isolated if I don’t work. people close to me seem to think that I can live a reasonable “normal” life but I am not sure they know how hard it is for me. I do want it though. lately I have the feeling that my condition is worse then people think. maybe I am just on the wrong planet.