I am as you may or may not know single and have been all my life. I am 22 years old and never had a meaningful relationship with another human and I wonder if that will stay that way.
maybe the way I most suffer from my condition is my inability to have these relationships. I have real trouble connecting with people and also a great fear of intimacy, what practically means that I not often meet people and when there is someone interested enough in me to maybe become something real then I run for the hills.
the downside is that I do have a need for connection with others and I do get very lonely when there is no one here or I just don’t feel that there here . in the past there have been a very few who where intrested in me but I got scared and pushed then as far away as I could, when fear takes over that is all there is on my mind, then it doesn’t matter how lonely I end up.
I know there are a lot of lovely people that I know over the internet and it is lovely to have them there but its not the same as having someone physicality here, sitting on the sofa on lying in bed with me.
all I want is to feel completely save and warm in someone’s arms at night, just to be loved and to love like others do, is that to much to ask??
I suppose it is.