happy single ?

I am as you may or may not know single and have been all my life. I am 22 years old and never had a meaningful relationship with another human and I wonder if that will stay that way.

maybe the way I most suffer from my condition is my inability to have these relationships. I have real trouble connecting with people and also a great fear of intimacy, what practically means that I not often meet people and when there is someone interested enough in me to maybe become something real then I run for the hills.

the downside is that I do have a need for connection with others and I do get very lonely when there is no one here or I just don’t feel that there here .  in the past there have been a very few who where intrested in me but I got scared and pushed then as far away as I could, when fear takes over that is all there is on my mind, then it doesn’t matter how lonely I end up.

I know there are a lot of lovely people that I know over the internet and it  is lovely to have them there but its not the same as having someone physicality here, sitting on the sofa on lying in bed with me.

all I want is to feel completely save and warm in someone’s arms at night, just to be loved and to love like others do, is that to much to ask??

I suppose it is.


3 responses to “happy single ?

  1. Hi

    What you want from a partner is what a LOT of people (especially women) want from a partner, and these may be women in a current relationship. You’re particularly sensitive to this desire because you have yet to experience any kind of closeness with a special someone, let alone this ‘perfect’ closeness.

    As much as I can tell you how it will be for you, what will happen when you do take the risk of first getting involved, they will only be words (wise or unwise) to you. You have to experience togetherness to understand what’s possible, and how it feels and what’s great about this kind of union and what is horrible about it.

    At the moment, though, your fear of the unknown is greater than your desire to be close to someone.

    Only you can change that.

    My advice: step in, the water’s not that cold…

    Good luck,

    • thank you for your kind advice.
      its just not as simple as just go for it.

      • I (politely) beg to differ.

        Not as someone who ‘goes for it’ in life. But as someone who finds life complicated, difficult and troubling.

        However, the truth of the matter is that life is simple and we (sometimes) choose to make it complicated.

        And I talk about myself here as much as you…

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