o dear, where did I get myself into this time? into the mess that I was just a couple weeks ago certain that I wouldn’t get myself into.
I littlairly said: I can’t do this. and I meant it but I didn’t so much changed my mind as just wanting to do the impossible.
I am going to Oxford England, without my parents to meet up with a lot of people and go to meet a man I really admire, and that all wile staying sane. I will do this all on the 18th of September 2010. that will be a couple months away.
the man I will be (hopefully) meeting is mr stephen fry himself. this will be the greatest joy ever and the greatest challenge…
I really hope I will be able to enjoy it all without being sick of fear and doubts, there is a lot to overcome for me. the travelling will be stressful. I am with a friend and do hope that one of us or both can keep a cool head through it all. then I will be staying in a country I don’t know for a couple days. and will be meeting a lot of people I never met before (although kinda know) also meet someone who has my and mine friends ticket. and meeting someone I totally fan, I love and adore him but he is always been on a save distance, what will he think of me when I stand there unable to speak clearly? form a English sentence? and what will the other people think. online I am pretty chatty and my English is charming in text but what if I disappoint? turn out not to be as interesting or kind as they think I am?
my mind seems to be built the way it is and it sees problems and fears every step of the way.
but he will be worth it, it sort of a try before you die kind of thing, this might be the only chance I ever get to do this.