the kiss kiss kiss dilemma

I don’t remember if I did a blog about this in January or just discussed it on twitter but this morning I suddenly realised that its almost new-year again (well 2 months away isn’t exactly almost but anyway) and in the beginning new year there is a tradition here to wish one other a good new year and with that come sometimes 3 friendly and harmless kisses on the cheek. and that  is where my problem lays, I am not really someone who does the whole kiss thing, unless its close family and even with my uncles and aunts or my sisters husband its kinda something I just go though because I am suppose to and I don’t mind it all that much so thats is fine. now people outside my family its a different matter, I do mind and most people can sense that just fine but last year it became clear that my boss (who I don’t even like) didn’t sense it or just ignored the signs that I am really someone who likes her personal space to be personal and went in for the traditional kisses, because I am allowed once a year he stated with that.  I was baffled and let him but found it horrible.

I might be completely overreacting with this one but I feel the way I feel and can’t just shut them down because they are not rational. when he had his birthday I avoided him the whole day because I was afraid he thought it would be another situation where he would be allowed to do that to me, that is really how it feels like something done to me, I did feel violated if that is rational in the situation or not doesn’t really matter that is how I feel. and now 2 months before I am already worried about it, do I just suck it up and go though it because its not a real big deal and I’m kinda suppose to?  do I try to avoid him until he forgets ? or do I try to make clear that its not okay with me ? and how do I do that without being rude or maybe hurt his feelings? he is still my boss and I do understand that he doesn’t mean any harm.

I really need some advise on this one ? and if there are any man and bosses reading this I especially want your views on this.


One response to “the kiss kiss kiss dilemma

  1. Gosh, that is difficult. I know how it feels to have your personal space invaded whilst also feeling that it would be seen as rude to point it out. Having said this, if you’re really not happy about it, then you have every right to say something. I think perhaps the best way of going about it (particularly if you feel that he genuinely doesn’t mean any harm) is to just say to him that you appreciate his attempt to be warm and friendly, but unfortunately you just aren’t comfortable sharing such gestures with anyone other than very close friends and family. I think as long as you make it clear that it’s not personal, that it’s not him as a person you have a problem with, just the level of social interaction, he should hopefully accept this and not bother you. Perhaps you could compromise and say a simple handshake would suffice? 🙂
    I know it probably won’t be easy to say something, but you’ve got a good two months to plan what you might say. Hope that helps 🙂
    Hugs xxx

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