to be human is to be social ?

oh dear my dear, here I go again. it all started when I was looking for a job, something I found quite scary to say the least. when I looked through the adverts I saw something that sent me in a bit of a panic, ever single job required someone that was well socially skilled, something I couldn’t say for myself that I was and tbh still I am not comfortably saying that. its seemed more important to them that I was socially skilled then weather or not I could do my damn job. in my job quest I didn’t lie but I didn’t tell the truth either, I kept secret that I do have a diagnoses on the autistic spectrum and even talked around the fact that I have been in special education by explaining to them the school system today (it changed quite a bit since they went to school). I didn’t and don’t feel that I could tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, that does hurt.

not so long ago I was watching Dr.phill (guilty I watch it sometimes when there’s nothing else on) the discussion was about the ups but mostly the downs of social media. a spechial guest was Kelly Osbourne who, lead a discussion between some teens. at one point she said (excuse if the quote isn’t exact): if you don’t have the skill to go up to someone and say hi, you aren’t human, your just a sham. now in defence of Miss osbourne, I am sure she didn’t mean to hurt anyone by that but it did hurt. mostly because I fully realised that this is how a lot of people think. for others its so natural to have that social connection that they don’t stop to think that there are people who don’t have that. for witch going up to someone and saying Hi can be the hardest thing in the world.

it feels like that the social demands on people are getting greater and greater and who can’t join in is left behind. I do wonder if this is part of evolution, to evolve is to exclude the less desirable. but shouldn’t then also people with  cancer and other genetic conditions be excluded from the whole. when I put it like that, it suddenly sounds inhuman but why does the same happen to me and many others? why work so hard to keep us out?

I do want to point out that this is how it feels to me, its doesn’t have to be  what people intent. I also know that not all people think this way,there are quite some out there that are willing to learn and understand and help.

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2 responses to “to be human is to be social ?

  1. I hope noone ever feels less than fully human as a result of anything I say or do. Or even that they think that that is what I think of them.

    I truly believe we all are different, and have different strengths and struggles, and if only we work together we can make a better life for everyone, yes everyone, even for those who appear to have all strengths and no struggles.

    But I do know it is easy for people (me included) to say things meaning then in one way, and for me or others to understand them quite differently, and to be hurt or annoyed by what they have said. As I have got older, occassionally, I have managed to say to people how I have ‘heard’ what they have said – not actually what they physically said but how I interpreted it. This has been helpful to me, but is also risky. Plus it is only as I have got older (poor old girl that I am :)) that I have been able to even remotely consider doing this.

    *huge special hugs* for a special PP.

  2. Great post. I agree totally with what hidihidi said about us each having unique strengths to contribute to society. And although I’m not shy myself, my hubby The Engineer cannot handle social situations without great anxiety. There are different causes for what makes a person unable to go and say, “Hi.” I think we need to stop trying to fit everyone into the same mold. We are different for a reason. It’s my belief that God has made each of us completely unique, and has something for us to do that utilizes what He gave us. The hard part is sometimes trying to figure out what that is…
    I wish you well in your job search. You sound like a highly intelligent, thoughtful person with a lot to offer. Good luck!

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