fireworks and why I hate them

I have many heard talking about how there pets are scared of fireworks and we all feel for the poor cats and dogs that don’t get that there is no danger. but the pets are not my main reason for hating the loud (and getting louder every year) fireworks display every new years. I a 23 year old women who perfectly understands that its quite save if one doesn’t stand to close is terrified by fireworks. I don’t mind the pretty colours in the air with little pops but the loud banging that is involved in such a display is not only frighting to me but also painful. I will try to explain in the best way I know how.

one of the problems that my autism gives me is that the part of my brain that filters out information isn’t working right, so everything comes in more directly and uncontrolled. I know that there are lots of people who got it a lot worse and who couldn’t for example stand 2 minutes in a shopping mall. my main problem lies with sounds, if there are for example 2 or more conversations going on at lunchtime at work I don’t even try any more to follow one because I can’t. I hear them all through one other and I can’t block any of them out to concentrate on one or two voices. (thats why I hate party’s can’t hear what anyone is saying). back to the point when I hear a loud noise the shock of it is just painful, imagine suddenly being hit over the head with a bat, there will be a big shock and then there is the pain of you head but I think that shock is quite similar to what I feel. now image that not once but over and over and over again, how long could you take it without hiding your head? without crying ? and there is no getting use to it, that moment of shock and panic hurts every single time. there hasn’t been a new years eve where I haven’t ended up crying because it was all way to much.

I don’t want any pity really, I just want to try to explain as well as I understand it. I hope its understandable as I found it quite difficult to explain this

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One response to “fireworks and why I hate them

  1. Sweetie, my heart goes out to you. My son is autistic and I’m very thankful for both himself and myself that he doesn’t have auditory defensiveness. He wouldn’t like to watch the whole fireworks because he gets bored, not because it bothers him. He can’t speak and can’t type yet, but he has other strengths. Each of us gets by with whatever strengths we have and uses them to carry burdens for others.

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