100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups – Week#5

another week another try 🙂 the prompt is a picture this time, this one:

I laid down on the stones beneath me

let the cold grow through my bones

my heart was the last to give in

to get lost to the iron cold

even the weak sun who tried to warm me

couldn’t help it that I froze.

Now the cold has chosen me

to be his eternal host

and nothing in this world can free me

from my frozen pose

children, parents and lovers

pass me everyday

to wonder and laugh out loud

on how still I can lay.

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10 responses to “100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups – Week#5

  1. I really like this. Its very good. Gets feeling across very well!

  2. This sent chills down my spine – but in a good way. I think it’s got a really haunting quality to it.

  3. This sounds like a description of depression from inside it. It makes me want to know why it would prompt laughter from onlookers? I wonder if you could work with this to address that question, or make it irrelevent, within the 100 word limit?

    • In my expirience people love making fun out of others missfortune. But wonder for yourself…I like to make people think.

      • Thanks for your reply. I’m sorry if I offended in any way. Over at The Head’s Office blog, she has mentioned feedback and constructive criticism among the points of the 100 Word exercise. I meant no disrespect to a piece that you considered finished.

      • Non taken and thanks for the comment. Xx

  4. Very thought provoking piece of writing.

  5. Awsome site! I am loving it!! Will come back again. I am bookmarking your feeds also

  6. This was quite melancholic. It makes you think what could have happened in his life to leave him feeling this way, wanting to turn himself to stone. Lovely writing.

  7. I love the imagery in this piece. You have managed to thread cold right through it. Excellent! Thank you so much for sharing this talent of yours!

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