am trying not to think about it, because its silly, illogical and irresponsible. But its there in the back of my head, popping up every now and then to remind me. It seems like an innocent idea but if realised it would be the biggest disaster ever. Not only for me but for an innocent life who never deserved the fate I would give it. A child, beyond all reason I want a child.
I can’t even take care of myself, I can’t handle children, I don’t even babysit because I can’t be around them very long. They are noisy, unpredictable and I don’t understand them. I’d be a terrible mother and is the truth, its not me being negative about myself, I am not able to take care of a child.
Is it just hormones ? That primal instinct that every animal has, to propagate? Seems silly in a species that is already a plague on earth, with over 7 billion of us I think humanity will survive without my contribution. I couldn’t even explain why I want one, intellectually I don’t want children, its a feeling and one that I don’t want to have.